Start small. I’d suggest an irritating small habit – eg, for me, being the type A personality that I am, I used to sulk if I didn’t get my own way (it happened so infrequently that I didn’t notice for years). Not for long, but I noticed and thought “Huh, I don’t like that. I don’t need to behave like that.”
If you pick a larger habit, just be warned that there can be secondary benefits which may also need to be tapped through first.
Kinds of things you can tap on
- Tap on any emotion you feel that you don’t like.
- Tap on any belief you have that you don’t like.
- Tap on anything you do (or habit) that you don’t like.
- Tap on any physical illness/feeling you don’t like.
Of course, it’s just a tool. Only tap things you want to, nothing more. Personally though, I would also add:
Tap on ANY limiting belief you say or think.
I say this simply because I believe that humans are capable of SO much more than we give ourselves credit for, and it’s only stupid things we decide to believe that hold us back.
Clearing our your entire life
If you want to start clearing out the bigger issues that have held you back, or otherwise subtly damaged your life, answering these questions can provide some excellent clues on where to start:
- “If you could live life over again, what person or event would you prefer to skip?”
- “When was the last time you cried and why?”
- “Who/what makes you angry and why?”
- “What is your biggest sadness or regret?”
- “What is missing to make your life perfect?”
- “Name 3 fears you would rather not have.”
- “Will you be going to heaven?”
- “What do you wish you had never done?”
Day to day
Pay attention to your thoughts. Anything negative that comes up – negative self talk, doubt, fear, anger etc, you can tap it away. At first it may seem like you’re overwhelmed with things to tap on (I know it did for me), but just make a list and write everything down. Then chip away at the list. You’ll soon notice that your list is getting shorter, and the amount of negative noise in your head is decreasing enormously. I found that after a couple of weeks of tapping every day, when I did have a negative thought, it would be so clear, and so unusual it would surprise me, and I’d stop and write it down!
Useful here is when tapping to say “I choose to feel differently”, or “I choose to release this emotion” – it’s non judgemental, and gives you the freedom to change your life, without any negative thoughts about how you might have been up until now.
Remember to replace any negative thought or emotion with an opposite, positive emotion or feeling. Just tapping away the negative can leave you feeling a little disconnected (eg, “I hate this job” can leave you simply not caring about it – why have that when you could be thoroughly enjoying some aspect of it, however small?)
Doing EFT is like peeling an onion. As you peel away outer layers, deeper issues will come up. This is perfectly normal. Don’t let it worry you too much, you’ll get through it all, just keep on tapping.
For bigger issues
The key thing to watch out for with bigger, or more complex issues is that of aspects, or sub-problems. Pretty much every big issue has aspects to it that may need to be tapped through before you can fully clear out the problem itself.
Some very useful questions to ask yourself in order to identify these aspects are (and remember, write down whatever pops in your head, no matter how silly it may seem):
“What are the benefits of having this problem?”
“What has to happen before this problem can disappear?”
“What will happen if this problem disappears?”
Remember to take at least a small break in between dealing with each of the aspects, and drink lots of water.