How To Tap
The basic approach
I got asked recently “what do you mean by ‘tap’?”. Which is a very good question. Know how you tap on a keyboard? Well, just like that! Use a couple of fingers if you like - that just makes it more likely that you’ll hit the right point, for no other reason. But really, that’s all there is to it.
The basic concept of EFT is that you describe your problem (a “setup phrase”) while tapping the karate chop point, then continue circling through the other points while saying a “reminder phrase”.
The setup is used to get you very focussed on your problem, and also to try and overcome any “psychological reversals” (barriers to resolving the problem) you may have.
Some good setup phrases are:
Even though I [describe problem] I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I [describe problem] I deeply and completely forgive myself.
For example
Even though I have this pounding headache at the front of my head I deeply and completely accept myself.
You can also add “anyway”, or “without judgement” to the end of either of those phrases.
Additionally, you can use a “choosing” phrase. Eg:
Even though in the past I’ve sulked when I didn’t get my way, I choose to behave differently now.
This frees you up to change your life, without attaching any judgement to previous behaviours.
or you can “release” the emotion, eg “I release this anger I’ve been feeling about my deadbeat car”
The reminder phrase is commonly just a shorter version of the setup phrase, eg:
Even though I have this headache I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Some details
When tapping, try to use at least two fingers. Some people recommend 4 (to make it easier to hit the correct spot, particularly on the top of the head).
Making a light fist can help.
Tap as hard as you feel comfortable. There’s no need to really thump yourself. It’s just like hitting a key on your computer keyboard.
Don’t panic about hitting the exact spot. You’ll get the hang of it over time.
Don’t worry if you’re saying the right words or not. The important thing is that you’re “tuned in” to the problem you’re trying to resolve - ie, it’s in your head, and you’re focussed on it. Keep accepting & forgiving yourself, and talking about the problem. There’s no secret tricks.
It’s very common that you may feel very strong emotions, or even tears while tapping. Whatever happens, just keep tapping, and the feelings will go away, very quickly (typically within a single round).
Use whatever words or phrases come into your head. The acceptance phrases (”accept/forgive myself”) are very powerful, but how you describe the problem is entirely up to you. Often seemingly unrelated or even strange things will pop into your head - say them! Only you can know what’s truly right for you. Always trust your instinct. No matter how silly or stupid or unrelated something sounds, if it came into your head, say it - you’ll be surprised at how often it will be exactly what you needed.
While it’s important to forgive yourself, often problems involve other people. Part of the healing process is to acknowledge that (particularly with things that happened to you when you were very young) the people involved were often merely doing the best they knew how. Forgiving them too is critical.
Tricks to finding the right thing to tap on
Try to find the first memory of any behaviour/event
Try to find a time you benefitted from behaviour/action
Try to find why you do/think something, then tap on that
Write things down that occur, so you don’t forget
Set aside time to do this - it’s all helpful.
A small warning
EFT won’t heal you, specifically. However, what it does do is help untangle the mess (the imbalance in your energy system) inside. Your body can then naturally heal itself, without having that mess there to confuse or stop things. Your body naturally wants to heal itself. It’s only this imbalance, or tangle that stops you from being perfectly healthy (and happy!). The natural state for you is that of perfect health.
So, while at the time you may feel relief, it’s common that you will then notice seemingly unrelated physical symptoms disappear over the next little while, as your body heals itself. For more severe problems, these physical effects can sometimes be quite major (I’ve witnessed someone’s entire body change shape - slightly, but definitely noticeably - oh, and definitely for the better!).
What EFT does do is create an “emotional disconnect” with whatever your problem is. Whereas initially you may have reacted quite strongly to even thinking about the problem, you will still be aware of the issue, but it won’t have the same control over you. However, this does mean that it’s a very good idea to “replace” any negative issue you’re working on with an opposing positive concept. (eg starting tapping on “this pounding headache” and ending with “I’m feeling relaxed and comfortable”). If you don’t end with a positive phrase, that’s ok - you can always just tap the positive phrase later, however you may wander around feeling a little disconnected.
Different styles
There are many different ways of tapping, all variations on the basic approach. None is better or worse than the others, it’s just a case of finding one that works for you. Sometimes more “stuck” issues may require a more thorough tapping. Simpler issues may require just a couple of quick rounds, etc.
style 1
Just tap through 2 or 3 rounds, saying the exact same reminder phrase (including the “accept” or “forgive” part of the phrase) at each point.
Eg: Even though I have this headache I deeply and completely accept myself.
style 2
do one full round just describing the problem, in the negative.
Eg: “this headache”, “the pounding at the front of my head”, “the pain in my head”, “the excruciating pain” etc
then, do a round just of the acceptance phrase
Eg: “I deeply and completely accept myself anyway”
then, do a round or two of positive phrases
Eg: “the pain is going away”, “I’m feel light and calm”, “I’m feeling relaxed”, “my head feels back to normal”
style 3
do one or two full rounds of negative phrases (as before) - continuing until you feel a reaction rise up inside you, and then fall again to near zero (out of 10)
next, do a full round of neutral, or questioning phrases
Eg: “Is it really that painful?”, “Maybe it’s going away now”, “Perhaps it’s just a short headache”, “Maybe this tapping will help”
finally, do a round or two of positive phrases (as before)
Personally, for issues I think might be big, I use style 2, for simpler issues (or if I’m rushed) I’ll use style 1. If I want to explore an issue (for example, something emotional that I’m not really sure why it’s happening), I’ll use style 3. Often surprising revelations will pop out as I’m tapping.
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