Bad Habits
Most habits are relatively easy to get rid of. The key difficulty is the possibility of multiple aspects. This doesn't need to be a daunting thing, but it should be considered.
Some good ways to find out if the habit you're interested in removing has other aspects to it is to ask the following questions:
- What are the benefits of (the good things about) this habit?
- If I got rid of this habit, what would change?
For example, smoking (one of the more stubborn habits around) is often quite a social thing. Also, people feel that it helps them relax. It's also something that pairs well with alcohol. Finally, it's a good, nonthreatening way to meet people ("Got a light?"). So, if the smoking habit was gone, you'd have to find another way to meet people, relax, etc.
The most successful approach is to first tap on each of these sub-aspects, and then tap on getting rid of the actual habit itself. It's quite doable, but you do need to be very thorough, plus brutally honest with yourself.
Also, pay attention to and tap out any combinations of things that might spur the habit (eg drinking AND socialising).
Some habits, on the other hand, really don't have any benefits, and everything will just go better the sooner you get rid of them.
If this is the first time you're clearing a habit, it's probably easiest to start with a simple "all negatives" habit like this.
For me, that bad habit was sulking when I didn't get my own way. Incredibly childish, I admit, and zero benefit to me (or the people around me). To this day I have no idea why I started doing this, so I was just super keen to get rid of it.
In a general format, here's how I'd suggest tackling bad habits:
The setup
While continually tapping the karate chop or collarbone points, say the following phrases, and as you do, pay attention and pick out the one that has the biggest effect on yourself:
- Even though I [description of bad habit], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
- Even though I [description of bad habit], I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.
- Even thought I used to [description of bad habit], I choose not to do that any more.
Tapping out the negative and in the positive
[tapping with two fingers, 5-10 times each of the points in turn, saying one, any or all of the phrases below. You're looking for something that brings up a reaction inside you. Once you get that reaction, keep saying that phrase at each point until you feel the reaction fade away. Either continue with that phrase, or the other phrases until you finish that round (ie, you end up at your crown)]
- often I [bad habit]
- sometimes I [bad habit]
- but I don't have to [bad habit]
- I choose not to [bad habit] any more
- I used to [bad habit]
- but I don't [bad habit] any more
- this is not who I am any more
- it's all in the past now
- these days I never [bad habit]
- I've chosen to leave that behind
- I feel happy and relaxed with myself
- I deeply and completely love and accept myself
then take a deep breath, and let it all go
And as an example (me sulking when I didn't get my own way) I tapped like this:
The setup
While continually tapping the karate chop or collarbone points, say the following phrases, and as you do, pay attention and pick out the one that has the biggest effect on yourself:
- If I don't get my own way, I sulk
- Even though I sulk if I don't get my own way, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
- Even though I sulk if I don't get my own way, I accept and forgive myself anyway
Tapping out the negative and in the positive
now loop through three entire loops (from crown through to wrists) saying one phrase at each point:
- often I sulk if I don't get my own way
- sometimes I sulk
- but I don't have to sulk
- I choose not to sulk any more
- I used to sulk
- even though I sulked, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
- but I don't sulk any more
- it's not who I am now
- even though I used to sulk, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
- these days I never sulk
- these days I'm happy and relaxed
- now when I don't get my own way, I smile because I know it's not important
- I'm happy with who I am
- I don't need to sulk anymore
- I'm happy and relaxed in who I am
- I deeply and completely love and accept myself
then take a deep breath, and let it all go
In the above example, I've started with the negative phrases, and then gradually transitioned to positive phrases as I felt the energy leaving and myself getting calmer and more centred.
It's pretty obvious you can make this up as you go along.
Have a think first about what the specific issues you'd like to address are. Stay very focussed, and if it looks like there might be more completely different issues in there, tap on each of them separately.
Do not worry about getting the words exactly right. In fact, you'll find it works better if you do just go with the flow, and simply stay focussed on the problem, regardless of what phrases or words come up.
Also notice that I started in the present tense (I do sulk), then moved it into the past tense (I used to sulk), as I went through. This helps your body/mind visualise leaving the bad habit behind.
Additionally, it can be helpful to decrease the perceived frequency of occurrence. Eg, I started with "I often sulk", and then moved to "sometimes I sulk". This also helps you detach from the habit.