Blaming Yourself
Bad things happen to everyone. Things don't go the way we expect or desire. This is normal. However, our interpretations of these events and how we frame them in our minds has huge influence over how these things affect us.
Firstly, there is a huge difference between taking responsibility for your life and the decisions you've made, and blaming yourself for everything that ever goes wrong. If it rains or you get a flat tire, do you say "Oh, bad things always happen to me"? or "I have the worst luck ever"?. Unless you control the weather, or deliberately put a nail in your tire, this is not productive. It's blaming yourself for something that simply isn't your fault.
As soon as you stop blaming yourself or "your lousy luck" for the things that "go wrong" in your life, the sooner you will be freed up to
a) take positive action, and
b) resolve whatever the problem actually is.
An important side note here, just because something is not your fault does not mean that you are not responsible for your life. If you get a flat because you've put off replacing a dangerous worn out tire, well yes, that is your fault. Similarly, blaming someone else (your boss, your wife, your parents) for your problems is as bad as blaming yourself. It may not be as destructive to yourself, but it definitely be destructive to your relationship with that person.
Taking consistent, positive action in your own life is the best way to ensure things go better for you. This tapping will help you keep that mental and emotional balance so you can do this.
The setup
While continually tapping the karate chop or collarbone points, say the following phrases, and as you do, pay attention and pick out the one that has the biggest effect on yourself:
- bad stuff is always my fault
- I make bad things happen to me
- it's all my fault
- bad things that happen to me are all my fault
Tapping out the negative
now loop through three entire loops (from crown through to wrists) using the phrase you picked out, and saying:
- even though [negative statement] I deeply and completely love and forgive (or accept) myself
then take a deep breath, and let it all go
Tapping in the positive
finally, loop through as many times as you like, saying the following (one sentence at each point). If any of the phrases resonate with you, feel free to say it over and over as many times as you like. Continue until you feel relief & calm.
- good things that happen are my fault
- I don't make -that- many mistakes
- most bad things that happen are because of things outside my control
- if it's not something I did, then it's not my fault
- if it's something outside me, then I shouldn't beat myself up about it
- things outside me happen all the time, I can just let them go
- good things happen in my life because I draw them to me
- great things happen to me because I do a great job
- when bad things happen, it's just an off day
- it's no big deal
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