Bad Habits
Getting rid of a bad personal habit
Most habits are relatively easy to get rid of. The key difficulty is the possibility of multiple aspects. This doesn’t need to be a daunting thing, but it should be considered.
Some good ways to find out if the habit you’re interested in removing has other aspects to it is to ask the following questions:
What are the benefits of this habit?
If I got rid of this habit, what would change?
For example, smoking (one of the more stubborn habits around) is often quite a social thing. Also, people feel that it helps relax them. Finally, it’s a good, nonthreatening way to meet people (“Got a light?”). So, if the smoking habit was gone, you’d have to find another way to meet people, relax, etc.
The most successful approach is to first tap on each of these aspects, and then tap on getting rid of the actual habit itself. It’s quite doable, but you do need to be very thorough, and honest with yourself. Also, pay attention to combinations of things that might spur the habit.
For example, while drinking, people often feel the desire to smoke. When they get stressed, they often also want to smoke. These are two separate aspects that should be tapped out individually, along with any others that might be relevant to you.
Some habits, on the other hand, really don’t have any benefits, and everything will just go better the sooner you get rid of them.
In terms of learning to tap, it’s probably easier to start with a simple “all negatives” habit like this.
For me, that bad habit was sulking when I didn’t get my own way. Incredibly childish, I admit, and zero benefit to me (or the people around me). To this day I have no idea why I started doing this, so I was just super keen to get rid of it.
In a general format, here’s how I’d suggest tackling bad habits:
Setup
[while tapping on your karate chop point]
Even though I [description of bad habit], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I [description of bad habit], I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.
Even thought I used to [description of bad habit], I choose not to do that any more.
Tapping Through The Points
[tapping with two fingers, 5-10 times each on points 0-8, saying one phrase at each point, just cycle through the points until you feel a sense of relief]
often I [bad habit]
sometimes I [bad habit]
but I don’t have to [bad habit]
I choose not to [bad habit] any more
I used to [bad habit]
but I don’t [bad habit] any more
this is not who I am any more
it’s all in the past now
these days I never [bad habit]
I’ve chosen to leave that behind
I feel happy and relaxed with myself
I deeply and completely love and accept myself
[then take a deep breath, and let it go]
For example, me sulking when I didn’t get my own way, I tapped like this:
Setup
[while tapping on your karate chop point]
If I don’t get my own way, I sulk
Even though I sulk if I don’t get my own way, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
Even though I sulk if I don’t get my own way, I accept and forgive myself anyway
Tapping Through The Points
eyebrow: often I sulk if I don’t get my own way
side of eye: sometimes I sulk
under eye: but I don’t have to sulk
under nose: I choose not to sulk any more
chin: I used to sulk
collarbone: even though I sulked, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
under arm: but I don’t sulk any more
crown: it’s not who I am now
eyebrow: even though I used to sulk, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
side of eye: these days I never sulk
under eye: these days I’m happy and relaxed
under nose: now when I don’t get my own way, I smile because I know it’s not important
chin: I’m happy with who I am
collarbone: I don’t need to sulk anymore
under arm: I’m happy and relaxed in who I am
crown: I deeply and completely love and accept myself
[then take a deep breath, and let it go]
So, you can see that you can pretty much make it up as you go along. Have a think first about what the specific issues you’d like to address are. Stay very focussed, and if it looks like there might be more completely different issues in there, tap on each of them separately.
Do not worry about getting the words exactly right. In fact, you’ll find it works better if you do just make it up as you go along. Go with the flow, and just stay focussed on the problem, regardless of what phrases or words come up.
Also notice that I started in the present tense (I do sulk), then moved it into the past tense (I used to sulk), as I went through. This helps your body/mind visualise leaving the bad habit behind.
Additionally, it can be helpful to decrease the perceived frequency of occurrence. Eg, I started with “I often sulk“, and then moved to “sometimes I sulk“. This also helps you detach from the habit.
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